T.V. update and financial state of mind

Finally, after a fifteen-hour-a-day work week, I finally get to enjoy a morning of stress-free relaxation and personal time. Thuyan and I got caught up on our reality shows, The Apprentice, and Survivor All-Stars. I still think Kwame has been coasting through this show, and he's unworthy of the final victory. The fact is, he's only revered because of his Harvard business degree, and not by the merits of his contributions to the team, which are far and few between. He has been to the boardroom almost every time! I wasn't crazy about Troy, but at least he had some practical business experience to bring to the table and a natural charisma and keen sense of salesmanship. But his lack of a formal education was his downfall in the end. I got a feeling that Trump might have been embarrassed to have someone on his staff in a very high position who lacked a degree. It's a shame really. My money is on Bill to win, but Amy could also pull it off. Go Bill. Nick seemed to reveal some weakness by tripping up over Amy. He should have kept his feelings to himself until the game was over. I hope it's just been strategy on his part, because in the end, The Donald will most certainly hold the personal monkey business over his head.

This past week's episode was the most emotionally charged episode I have seen yet. Thuyan's favorite, Lex, made a fatal mistake when he did Rob a favor by sparing Amber at Tribal Council. Rob had previously made pledge to take care of Lex if he took care of Amber. When the tribes merged, Rob revealed to Lex his group's decision to take Lex out. Kathy, one of our favorites, broke down, scolded Rob, and told Lex that she would give him her immunity necklace that she had earned at the last grueling challenge. At Tribal Council, the Survivors were asked if they would care to relinquish their coveted necklaces, and in a move thas shocked the Hell out of poor Lex, and us, the viewing audience, Kathy said she was keeping her immunity. Lex's heart sank, and I really felt so sorry for him. He played fair, physical, and honest, and in the end, his honesty was his downfall. That was a cold, hard lesson to learn that day, honesty=no million dollar prize on Survivor. Great job anyway, Lex. Rob is still my favorite, but he has played a vicious game in terms of being a man of his word. If he does make it to the final two, he'll have to charm the shit out of the judges and make them forget what a deceitful bastard he has been to many of them. And I think he will need to win nearly every immunity challenge to avoid an impending immunity against him. After all, he is THE survivor to beat.

Okay, that should be enough about watching other people live, back to the important topic...me.
My subconscious is still ticking away, thinking of a great story idea, while the practical part of me is still focusing on paying the bills. I went six months in a terrible state of being, not feeling worth a damn, not contributing to the house, the bills. Now that I have work to keep me busy, I can use that energy to form my next game plan. First off, we need to figure how to get out of our suffocating debt. I'm not sure how it got so bad, but I do realized that Thuyan and I are horrible with money. If we ever plan to get out of this mess, we need to throw everything we've got at our debt. It surprises me how hard she and I have to work just to get the minimum paid each month, much less paying anything extra towards school loans and other credit debts. Right now there is not a happy ending in sight, and it's futile and unnerving to think about the whole thing. God Bless the American dream.

A weekly update or Time change + two full-time jobs = no time for movies...

This is the first moment I've had in three days to sit down and write and browse the internet. I got temp-ed out to a sign making company, and I'm not sure what they will end up doing with me. I have just been training for the last three days, and then heading over to my other job at the video store as the evening shift manager. It's not too hard except that I have no personal time to spend and get very little sleep. But who am I kidding? I love the challenge and I feel like I might actually be learning new things. First, how to create signs, and also how to be a retail manager. It's got to be better than staring at job postings on Monster all day, which I've been doing for the last six months of my life.

I am not really enjoying Atlanta like I thought I would. I guess you actually have to live IN Atlanta to reap the benefits of the city. It was my lame idea to live in this suburb, so far from metropolitan life. It's a nice neighborhood, if you have kids, a dog, and a fence to keep them all in. We just have the dog right now, and he has ruined our backyard. We love him anyway.

I requested the weekend of April 25th and 26th off from work so we can drive up to Asheville and help my grandpa celebrate his birthday. He's having a rough time with his super rare form of blood cancer. His dad went out sort of the same way. He still has a brilliant mind even though the rest of him is failing. And my grandma has worked so hard her entire life to find happiness, and I wish I could do more to bring that to her. She needs a vacation, bad.

I brought "Donnie Darko" home again. I read somewhere that it is being re-cut and re-released in theaters this year. It sounds kind of far fetched, considering it didn't do so well in the first place. The only thing I can think of is that they are going to try and cash in on Maggie and Jake's star power. I will definitely go and see it since I missed it the first time. Can you believe I used to shun movies because of their title? It just sounded like another systematic teen slasher flick. I couldn't have been more wrong. This movie had the feel of an old cult classic even though it's only about four years old. It really did look like it had been shot in 1988, the few cg effects notwithstanding. The music was great; Tears for Fears deserves a little more credit for some of their work. I can't wait for my lovely wife to watch it so we can discuss.

I brought home "Lost in La Mancha" with Terry Gilliam and Johnny Depp this afternoon. We'll probably watch it tonight and then "Kill Bill Vol. I" tomorrow night. Scratch that, we have a date. "La Mancha" is the award winning documentary of the failed production of Terry Gilliams version of Don Quixote. I am hoping to gain some insight into the whole filmmaking process, and in turn use that knowledge to fail at making my own movie one day. I still have the dream, I'm just not telling many people about it.

Upcoming subject:

The many slogans of McDonald's throughout my lifetime.


(note:The previous post regarding "Life as a House" and others was actually posted on the 4th of April)

Life as a House (and a few others that kicked me into submission)

I am SOOOO glad that I did not see this in the theater. I meant to. It's just that when I was movie hopping one day while still living in Orlando, there were two others that took precedence, one I remember being "John Q". Oh well, I can't pick the winners every time.

The reason I'm glad I watched "Life..." at home was because I wound up sobbing like a little girl in the fetal position on my couch. It was over-the-top melodrama, and I fell for it like a chump. I'd always heard that it was touching and sad, but sad usually doesn't cut it for me in movies. Sad is not the word for the feelings I get when watching movies like this. It's more like moments of "happy-sadness". The true word escapes me, so I'll just have to describe it.

Here are three examples of moments in a film where I am overwhelmed:

1. E.T.-The Extra Terrestrial. When I talk to friends and others who think back to this movie (one of my favorites in the universe), they always tell me that it was so sad when E.T. died. That part never really affected me, I didn't get emotionally overwhelmed as Elliott hugged little E.T.'s tomb, sobbing. The moment that floored me and will always floor me every time I see this as long as I live, was the moment where Elliott realized that E.T. was still alive, heartlight aglow, and chatting excitedly. I goose-up just typing about it. From that moment until the last shot where E.T. and Elliott say goodbye forever as John Williams' score pummels you into submission with heartache, I am incapacitated. When Thuyan (my girlfriend at the time, now my wife) went to see E.T. for it's anniversary rerelease, we sat through the credits at the end so I could pull myself together, as the rest of the audience (all small kids with their mommies) filed out, happy and giggling. I sure as shit didn't want any of them to see a grown man, late-twenties, bawling like a little sissy. I had to laugh at myself. But I was also saddened by the fact that most of the new crowd that saw this didn't get from it what I did. I've pondered many times why I get so wound up over this movie, and there are several possibilities.

One being that I miss my childhood terribly. At least from age 0-9. That was the happiest time of my life. I was also the same age as Elliott, who liked all the things I liked. I guess I could really relate to him. He liked Star Wars. He had a bunkbed. He liked BMX. And he wasn't a good student, at least that I could tell. We had a lot in common, this fictional character and me.

I guess another possibility would be that his dad wasn't around, and at the time, mine was. At least the guy who I thought was my dad, was around. After my parent's divorce, my life as a boy was never the same. I would soon learn that my real dad was someone I had never met, and the man posing as my dad, was actually my stepdad. Consequently, I felt like my mom's divorce had actually been a two-for-one, I lost both my dads at the same time. This happened when I was nine. I only refer to this now because it is so obvious looking back to my disfunctional upbringing, that it had conjured certain feelings. When I think of E.T. I think of my childhood, when I was Elliott's age, right before the shit hit the box fan in my bedroom, next to my bunkbed.

Well, I think I just figured out why I lose it for that movie.

2. Whale Rider. My strong feeling about this movie is that anyone who wasn't moved by it and its characters has no soul and should be locked up for being a heartless moron. From the heart-smashing dedication speech little Pai gives to her resentful grandfather, to the moment the camera fades as she apparently rides a whale into the abyss, I am gripped, as by the hand of a god. I will probably mention this movie again in this journal from time to time, for the simple fact that it stirs me to even think about it. Again, I realize that Pai is nine or ten in this movie, and even though I saw this as an adult, it must be have tapped into those nostalgic childhood feelings. I have to guess that people who didn't feel the weight of this story must have never had to deal with certain emotional situations. I've surveyed all types of people on "Whale Rider", and you would almost have to examine each individual to see why they either loved it, or shrug their shoulders when talking about it, saying "Ehh, it's alright". This is one of my favorites of all time, and I wish everyone loved it as much as me.

3. Life as a House. This is the movie I'm supposed to be commenting on, because it gets me "happy-sad" like the others before it. I think I was finally sold to this story, when I noticed how many people had gotten involved in completing George's house, even though he was unable to be there himself. He was a miserable loner, who, at the end of his life, realized how many people really loved him, including his son. Hayden Cristensen's character really made an about-face and learned a life lesson through his dad, and was forever changed. This is the mark of a great, great story. When not one, but many characters go through a major overhaul in their lives, and we get to see it unfold. The father-son thing must have alot to do with my affection for this story.

Of course there are many reasons why movies appeal to me. There's so much to like about the good ones. This "happy-sad" emotion that these films hit upon is just one of them. It is this euphoric feeling that I would pay extra for at the ticket window. It is this feeling that tells me I am human and alive. Isn't it great that a movie can do such a thing?

Way of the Gun

I got around (finally) to watching Chris McQuarrie's "Way of the Gun", four years after its release. I have to say, I don't remember hearing much about it, and I had forgotten that this was C.M.'s follow-up to "Usual Suspects". I can see how this may have lost some people, as there are many complex characters who are interrelated, and the script does a good job of not telling the audience every detail. To me, it came off like a soap opera with ultra-violent resolutions to each story thread. Ryan Phillipe won me over with his performance, and Del Toro was as good as ever. I may have rented this sooner, but I remembered Taye Diggs was in it, and I think he could be one of the worst actors to make a living. Check out "Equilibrium" to understand where I'm coming from.

McQuarrie is the master of subtext, which really makes the viewer pay close attention to character gestures, editing, and purpose of the camera. What I mean to say is, the dialogue does not always have the answers you are looking for to complete the story. To me, he uses so much subtext, that you can get lost if you miss a moment where, for example, the camera holds on a particular character for an extra second, giving you time to see this character react to another. That reaction could hold the key to the character's motives, feelings, or intentions on a particular matter. Many writers who write for movies, probably take the easy way out, and just have the character respond in dialogue. His characters (at least in this one) seem to internalize a lot, leaving you to guess "Why did he/she just make that face when they heard the news? What is he/she hiding? What is his/her connection to the situation? What is their motive in the plot?" I was asking myself these questions throughout "Way of the Gun" so much in fact, that I was hoping that just one character would blab out the story like a villian from a 007 film, so my brain could take a rest and enjoy the gunplay for a moment.

It was entertaining as hell, and I would like to see it again one of these days, but I think I need a plain ol' "good-guys-wear-white-hats/bad-guys-wear-black-hats movie" to feel smart again.

More stuff I forgot to mention to myself...

My temp called this morning and told me that the sign making job wants me to start on Monday. I guess that is some good news.

Also, today is Jackie's birthday. He's my dog. We adopted him last Fall, and since we weren't sure exactly when he was born, we knew he was a year old sometime around this date, and it is fitting to make April Fool's Day his birthday. Much like making Christmas Jesus' birthday one and the same. Jackie=Fool, Jesus=Exchanging Best Buy Gift Cards. It just feels right, ya know?

Also, I received the flyer image of my friend Erin Gould's band, ECHO, who will be playing CBGB in NYC soon. Hopefully everyone will know of ECHO in the near future. Everyone needs an Erin sometime in their life. Wittier than Chandler (Bing, not Raymond), smoother that Vince Vaughn with a handlebar moustache, this guy is great. As soon as he secures a domain name, I will be linking the hell out it.

I'd also like to say "cheers" to ECHO's manager, Ian, who's love for and commitment to the band ECHO will eventually take them to the top. Ian, I hope one day we can once again sit at the same table, enjoy a pint or two, and reminisce about "the old days" when we used to rollerblade in tube tops in Fort Lauderdale and listen to vintage 45's of Rick Astley and Jesus Jones (B-sides). It's not even an issue.

Starstruck at Starbucks (unintentionally catchy title)

Okay, I didn't get to view and comment on those two movies yesterday, but I actually have something more interesting to post today. Of course I will need to preface this entry by saying that this has nothing to do with April Fool's Day and that it really happened!

What happened? I'm glad you(I) asked!

I had planned to meet up with my friend Kathleen to discuss her brilliant new web site/community (www.ladystrength.com), and at the last minute we decided to meet at a Starbucks at the halfway point to our residences, which was in Alpharetta. Alpharetta is famous for absolutely nothing that I know of. It is the quintessential yuppie suburb. That's it. I know there are a few million dollar homes scattered about, and maybe a quality country club or three.

I called Kathleen and told her I was running a few minutes behind. She was, too. We actually pulled into the lot at about the same time. As we were walking in, I noticed two gentlemen sitting in a corner of the place. My radar went off when one of the guys looked like someone I knew, someone I REALLY knew. Was it my dad, finally after all these years finally coming to make good on the eighteen years of back child support? How did he find me? Was he going to pay one lump sum, or a cashiers check, or worse...Paypal!? I calmly walked up to the baris, barris--coffee-making-hippie-kid, and then it clicked. I froze in place. I calmly looked to Kathleen and involuntarily spoke out of the side of my mouth, which I guess is how you are supposed to talk when you are trying to be inconspicuous. But consequently, whenever people talk out of the sides of their mouths, people usually try to hone in on the secret info. I said to Kathleen, "Don't look now (which really meant: Hurry! Look!), but I think that's...

MEL F#$-ing GIBSON!" It really was Mel Gibson. All of a sudden, I realized why the employees were standing around numb and silent. I thought the bowl hits had settled in from their last "smoke break". But they weren't high, they were star struck. And it had taken ahold of me, too. I lost focus, I couldn't decide what to order, and the fact is, I ALWAYS order the same thing: coffee, black. I felt like I had been tazered by some intangeable force. There was goddamned Mad Max, right there, in Starbucks! In Alpharetta, Georgia! Sir William Wallace, in jeans instead of a kilt, eating orange poundcake!

I have to say that the older I get, the more ridiculous I feel about the idea of celebrity. Worshipping people for acting like other people, none of which we will ever know personally. Maybe I am just jealous. Yes, I am. Also, I have met and spoken with many actors and celebrities through my twenties, and I always make it a point to not make a big deal about it. However, seeing Mel unexpectedly in nowheresville on a Thursday took me by complete surprise, and I was rendered to gimp-status at his mere presence. You are probably wondering if I approached him for an autograph and/or photo, and of course I didn't. Autographs are extremely ridiculous and bothersome to people (I know this. I was Goofy for nearly six years. You try signing your name with a four-fingered glove the size of a small childs head with a broken crayola with your friggin eyes shut). And as Kathleen helped me decide, it was not the setting to approach him. He obviously was there to relax and enjoy his coffee and hopeful anonymity. I did take all that I had not to yell across the cafe, "Loved you in Signs, Mel!" as I wink and cocked my finger-gun. Of course I would not have mention "The Passion", because I can safely assume that he's probably sick of hearing about it.

I had to call my wife to tell her, though I know she and her coworkers thought I was full of it at first, because I called earlier to tell her that someone hit and ran on our Honda Element. That was my completely dull and inane April Fool's setup, a joke I planned while on hold as her receptionist patched me through to her office. As I was talking out of the corner of my mouth into my cell phone, Mel and his associate got up and left. God, I hope he didn't hear me say his name! That would be embarrassing. Kathleen assured me he was probably just leaving, and that he wouldn't have heard my corner-mouth-talking-celebrity-stalking conversation with my wife.

I'm actually glad he left when he did, because it took us probably almost 45 minutes before we could focus on our own business again. It turns out that he was in town for The Bellsouth Classic golf tournament(?) *Yawn...*
At any rate, we took it as a good sign for our first talks of Kathleen's new site and business.